I recently got my first smartphone this past Christmas. First thing I did? Download phone app games of course. I play Sonic Rush Fever, Sonic Dash, Quiz RPG, Puzzle and Dragons, Marvel Puzzle Quest, and some bodybuilding game daily. Second? I downloaded gaydar apps: Grindr, Growlr, and Scruff. I'm pretty much obsessed with using these gaydar apps. I would like to believe that every guy thinks this: You be in a relationship, but still lust after other men. It's so true. What you lack in your relationship, you will want to fill the gaps with other men. Maybe your partner isn't attractive enough for you, your personalities don't create enough chemistry, whatever. I'd like to believe that gay men have an easier time maintaining open relationships, but almost always one will get more easily jealous than the other.
But at the end of the day, you'll realize why you love the person you're with even if he's not perfect, because you find out you get along with him the most out of any other man. That's somewhat the case with my bf. I love him, but he doesn't seem to excite me. We had a few talks before. I mentioned that I didn't find him attractive. He looks okay, he just doesn't make me lust for him. He didn't take that well. He told me: "It's not fair for you to expect me to be muscular if you aren't muscular yourself." Point taken, but I can't force myself to be attracted if I'm not. And it's not so much looks, it's attitude. If you want a healthy relationship, both partners need to be confident in themselves and trust that they love each other. If you get insecure easily and get jealous easily, then there will be constant misunderstandings.
I'm currently in my last semester of college. I can only hope I get hired for a job for my degree. I'll be graduating with a Bachelor's in Aerospace Engineering and a minor in Finance. Aside from all that, I'm still obsessed with wanting to get bigger and more muscular. I still would like to become a bara sempai someday and help other smaller guys become bara as well. For too long I've felt alone that I couldn't be with guys who I would actually like as friends and would want to have sex with. It sucks.
Other than that, I play League of Legends any chance I get. I main Olaf btw, and man there's so many bara studs in LoL. I just like playing Olaf because I love getting tanky and just being a bruiser. I always use his Pentakill Olaf skin because I love seeing his broad back and his massive pecs and beard. So sexy! Granted, I tend to die a lot as him since he's such a late game champ. I love spamming his Reckless Undertow (E) for true damage. I love his (W) for life stealing since it's a nice quick way to recover HP. His Q is great for chasing. And I usually use his ult to get out of sticky situations or get into a team fight after it started to do cleanup.
I use his new splash art as my lock screen wallpaper, and his old one as my home wallpaper:
