Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Monarch's Henchmen: #1 (The Chubby Ginger)

#1 will always hold a special place in my heart. Not only because he was the one who took my virginity, but we still talk and will probably always be friends.

#1 was a middle-aged guy, redhead, freckled face, chubby. I didn't find him that attractive, but what really won me over was how easy it was to talk with him online (via Adam4Adam). With any hookup site, you really can't expect to find guys who want more than just sex. Luckily, there are a few guys who are looking for more than just a quick fuck.

"Ichiban-san" is part of that select group that is attracted to slim, Asian guys. The guy told me several times how hot I was. I gotta say, it really boosted my self-confidence. He was a quiet guy, we talked about our lives. I told him I was a closeted, college student, and he told me he was a cop/lawyer. He's been divorced for a few years, has a son and a daughter. As of now, they've both graduated high school already. And I think he lives with his son but hasn't told him yet, but is pretty sure his son got the idea. Ironically, he divorced his wife because he said she was crazy, not because he was gay.

He was a Pisces, and so am I (due to the shift in the astrological signs caused by a change in the Earth's tilt). Technically, I'm born an Aries, but I may be more of a Pisces. I think I am a Pisces because I find myself to be an emotional person. I recall some of our conversations consisted of me talking about what was going on in my life and his. Junior year was rough for me: Failed 2 classes in the Fall because I fell into this deep depression, sort of like a mid-college-life crisis and I felt like I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I didn't know what I wanted. Luckily, I'm out of that now and so close to graduating.

When I met with "Ichi-san", it was at a hotel near my university. We couldn't go to his place because at the time he was living with his son and daughter who were probably still in high school. We got to the room and brought some Chinese food we bought for dinner. Ended up talking for a bit, watched tv. I think I showed him some bara manga I had saved on my laptop. Showed him Takeshi Matsu's "Crime Scene Investigation" since he mentioned he was a cop. We read it together, and I guess it got him pretty turned on, because at some point, he put his arm over my chest, and then we just started kissing. I must've been nervous the first time we met because I didn't initiate any moves until he did. But I was definitely comfortable making out with him. It felt so nice that first time, to get that intimate touch I was looking for. We eventually got to him fucking me. He rimmed me and fingered me first of course. It was painful having him in me though, since he had a really thick cock. He asked me to fuck him, but I couldn't stay hard. I still have trouble staying hard sometimes actually. And then we took a shower together and tried going to sleep. I think he slept, but I couldn't sleep at all. Sleeping next to another person after sex was a new concept to me.

After that first time, we didn't meet again until a year and a half later. During that time, I had classes again Spring 2012. I probably didn't have anyone and I was horny, so he asked if I wanted to come over to his place. We knew each other for awhile and still talked online after the first time we met. We eventually got to talking about barebacking. I'm sure we were both nervous about it, but we trusted each other, I even told him about how I regularly get tested about every 3 months whenever I get the chance. This time, he wanted me to be the top. I think he was the first guy I ever topped and barebacked with too. We barebacked about 4 times I think. It was really hot the first few times, cumming inside his ass, and then he came right after I came inside. I was kind of in disbelief that I could actually make him cum, but it definitely boosted my confidence in sex. Although I can recall having a hard time "staying hard" because my dick is kinda thin and his ass isn't really tight. But when I got hard, man it felt good. He always came every single time I fucked and came inside him. I guess he really does have a thing for young, slim Asian guys. Eventually, we stopped having sex. The last time we had sex together, I wasn't really into it. I tried fucking him, but I just couldn't enjoy it. I eventually told him that I couldn't do it because it didn't feel right to me anymore. He was cool with it though, and I have a feeling he knew that I wasn't really into him. He knows what turns me on. We still talked afterwards though. He had another friend, a young Puerto Rican guy who he had a crush on. He didn't have a crush on me, but I'm glad he had a friend he liked. However, he always told me about how his friend didn't really reciprocate his feelings back. At the very least, he told me they had a great "friends with benefits" relationship going on, and even got to bareback with each other. He told me they got tested together and it made him really happy, strengthened their trust for each other. Unfortunately, his friend had to go back to Puerto Rico for family business and has no idea when he'll be coming back. So now, he keeps looking for a special guy to be with. I'd say another good thing that came out of it is that he has been hitting the gym these past few months, so hopefully that'll help him feel better about himself and to get a guy to get attracted to him. He has a huge problem of being bombarded by younger guys looking for "generous guys" or "sugar daddies". And he tends to talk with a few guys for awhile, but then they flake out on him and never meet.

He always messages me first, but lately he hasn't. I wonder how he is?

Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Monarch's Henchmen

It's been awhile since I posted. I seriously neglect blogging because when I do, I always do long posts. And if I work on it too long, I get impatient and don't feel like finishing. Plus, I'm in my 5th year of college as an undergraduate unfortunately. I feel a little stupid because of that. Failed 2 classes, withdrew from 1. Yeah, that can definitely hold me back. And if you go to the second-largest university in the nation, where they offer upper level courses only once a year because they're too cheap to hire more professors to offer important classes for more than one semester because they're just out to make a profit... "Stands For Opportunity" my ass. Their motto's a load of bull. The services that come paid from tuition are great, but it could be better if the administrative staff didn't screw everyone over who deserves the money and support. But hey, Aerospace Engineering's pretty challenging. I think I can do enough to pass my classes, but getting A's in all of them, now that's another story.

Anyways, I'd have to say it's been about a year since I last posted. I learned that having a boyfriend or falling in love isn't necessarily that important. I'm much better off having close friends to hangout with and have sex inbetween. I don't think it would be fair to me or to another guy if I still had my own life that I wanted to work towards for. Some people can balance personal dreams and relationships just fine, but I feel for me I need my space. Or rather, I just don't want to be put into a position where the other person would feel I'm neglecting them. I can commit to a relationship, being devoted isn't that hard as long as you want to be. I think relationships start failing once you let the concept of commitment seem burdensome when it shouldn't. Relationships work best if you let them flow naturally, and if you don't think too much about it. Besides, if you can't trust the people you're with, then you'll never feel at ease. It's not that hard to tell who's trustworthy and who isn't. How open you are about your feelings tells a lot about your personality.

I have the unfortunate opportunity of temporarily living in Orlando, FL. The guys in the gay community here kinda suck. The guys are kinda shallow here, but so am I, and that's not really the problem. The real problem is the lack of personality in most of these guys. I feel like most guys don't know how to hold a decent conversation. There's a reason why I want to get to know a guy better before actually meeting him in person. The more I chat with a guy online or through texting, the better feel I get for his personality. I evaluated my choices in guys on a few things: looks, personality, common traits, and their display of affection during sex.

Despite my obsession with bara guys, I don't expect all guys to have that look. I'm shallow, but not in the sense that I'd ignore a guy because I didn't find him attractive. I'd still talk to you, sure. I might even have sex with you, but I'll be honest by saying that if I'm not really enjoying it, it because I'm not that attracted to you. I'm usually not put into that sort of situation, except when a close friend of mine asks me if we could have sex, I'll probably agree to it because I just want to be nice. I don't think my friends would find me to be an asshole, because they know beforehand what I like physically in a guy. We just have sex to satisfy our sexual hunger. lol

Out of all the gay dating sites I've used, Adam4Adam is my favorite. It seems to be the best "free" gay dating service in my opinion. For one, nudity is okay on the site, the only problem is that you don't have much space to describe yourself on your profile. But hey, I care more about the conversations I have with guys I meet on there.

You might be wondering why I titled this blog post "The Monarch's Henchmen". I've decided to keep track of the guys I've been with, whether it was casual or long-term. Within the past year, one of my ex-roommates forced me to watch DVDs he had. A group of them he had were all the Venture Bros. seasons released on DVD or Blu-ray as of this year. So I figured, why not number the guys I've been in bed with?